Watergate 18.5 Minutes

Nixon describes a mysterious pain in his left year to H.R. Haldeman 18.5 Minutes That Shook the World The day was June 20, 1972, three days after the Watergate break-in. President Richard Nixon had called in his chief of staff, H.R. "Bob" Haldeman to the old Executive Office Building for a discussion. As the two men talk, their conversation is suddenly replaced by 18.5 minutes of silence, clicks and hisses. The apparent erasure went unnoticed until late 1973, when Watergate had ballooned from a minor criminal matter to an affair that threatened the presidency itself. Nixon's secretary, Rose Mary Woods, took the blame for the erasures, giving a dubious explanation about being startled by a ringing phone. The content of those 18.5 minutes have always intrigued Americans, but their curiosity has never been satisfied - until now. Using the latest in Audio Forensic Imagineering, an expert team of tape gap historians at the Vince College Review have painstakingly pieced together those crucial missing minutes. For the first time anywhere, the full contents of that remarkable tape can be published. NIXON: . . . (garbled) the menace, Hank. . . Hank - Who am I thinking of? What's the name of that fellow? HALDEMAN: I'm not sure. NIXON: It doesn't matter. The point is, how can we know what a dog is thinking? The rest of it I'm fine with. It doesn't bother me. I admit, the children seem a little downbeat. A little morose. But it's all still within the realm of possibility. (garbled) and birds, too. He has some kind of rapport with birds, which is just ridiculous. He has these absurd fantasies, he's kind of a threat, or so it seems to me. You know, the way he pursues the girls is just, you know. And no one mentions this, but it's in every newspaper in the country. Every single one. HALDEMAN: This is Snoopy. NIXON: Day in, day out, the same nonsense. It wasn't always like this. You know, I remember back - I guess it was 20 years ago, something like that. And it was just a regular dog. You know, he would scrap with the child who has the disease over the blanket, but I suppose that's normal dog behavior. HALDEMAN: The child who has the disease? Linus? NIXON: Uh huh. Yes. So this dog and this child fight over a blanket, which is plausible. I could see that happening. And these children sort of behave as children, and it's all fine - HALDEMAN: What do you mean about the disease? NIXON: Sorry? HALDEMAN: You said Linus has a disease. What disease does he have? NIXON: Oh. Oh. I . . . I don't know exactly. I've always thought of him as having a disease because he has this lumpy, misshapen head, and this stringy, thin hair. You know. HALDEMAN: Yeah. But - NIXON: It just seemed like he had some kind of disease, maybe a skin condition or something. I always. . . this is going to come out sounding strange, but I always imagine his head as being kind of, you know, scabby. HALDEMAN: I agree about the hair, but I always thought it was from stress. You know, you can, people can, there have been studies showing that people can sometimes, you know, lose their hair or have hair loss from stress. NIXON: You don't have to tell me. I know all about it. (both men laugh) HALDEMAN: Well, and Linus is always worrying about something. Have you noticed? He seems like he's the worrier. NIXON: Don't they all? HALDEMAN: Don't they all what? Who? NIXON: The children. The Peanuts gang. They all worry. I mean, Charlie Brown - that's a worrier. That - when you said worry, I just thought of Charlie Brown. You know. And he has no hair, which could go to your point. HALDEMAN: Charlie Brown, yes, a worrier. Definitely. But not Pigpen. NIXON: No, not Pigpen. HALDEMAN: Not Schroder. Not Lucy. NIXON: Well, now, hold on a minute there. Schroder seems to me like he lives with a lot of stress. You know, he's always shouting. He's a brooding, artistic type. He doesn't seem like he's handling life very well. HALDEMAN: Well - NIXON: And I can't imagine Lucy is very happy with herself. There's a lot of hatred there. She's probably a drinker. HALDEMAN: Maybe I'm naive, but I see most of them as pretty carefree, except for Linus and Charlie Brown. They're - the two of them are sort of, they seem weighed down by these burdens. But the others, you know - Sally, Violet - NIXON: Violet! HALDEMAN: Sure. She's the girl who's always playing games with Lucy. NIXON: When was the last time Violet was in the strip? I think we still had more than one Kennedy left! (both men laugh) HALDEMAN: At least we can agree on Snoopy. NIXON: Yeah, bunch of bullshit. It's like when Li'l Abner started going to Eastern Europe. Just not interesting. HALDEMAN: Okay, so, was there anything else you wanted to talk about? NIXON: No, not really. Do you think if things had been different, I could have balled Grace Slick? HALDEMAN: Yup. (the gap ends)