The War at Home

The War at Home Literally years before it became the title of a groundbreaking sitcom on Fox1, the concept of "the war at home" had an entirely different meaning, one that had precious little to do with television at all. In fact, there was almost no coverage of World War II on television, not even the cable news networks. Back then, people relied on radio and newspapers for information instead of the rap metal songs and grocery coupons for which they're used today. The Second World War was much different than wars of today. Not only are World War II veterans pushier and more irritating than veterans of subsequent wars, but the war itself had a much greater impact on society. The term for this is "Total War," which means that the war effort went far beyond the battlefield and into even private homes, where family members were routinely asked to slaughter one another for the good of the war effort. But what could the average citizen do to help his country, besides leading mobs of angry townsfolk to the homes of unsuspecting German neighbors? Plenty, it turns out. Let's explore the ways in which ordinary citizens and those too chickenshit to enlist were asked to help out in the fight against the German and Japanese war machines: Women working? What's next – dogs driving cars? The Role of Women World War II led to a fundamental change in society's views about women. Historically, fears about witchcraft and moodiness meant that most women were confined to kitchens and brothels. However, because of the draft and competition from male prostitutes, women were suddenly called upon by their country to branch out and take on new jobs, even those for which they were ill-suited, like those that involved driving or mathematics. Suddenly, America was treated to the bizarre sight of women toiling away in factories and mills. Little did the government know that the effort would come back to bite them years later when women started pissing and moaning about utterly preposterous things like equal pay and rights. Victory Gardens Food shortages prompted the government to ask families to grow their own food, to prepare meals using their own goods rather than using up public supplies of food to make their treacherous "Kraut Kasseroles." In fact, families were urged to be self-reliant in many areas. In addition to growing Victory Gardens, patriots gave themselves Victory Haircuts to preserve valuable hairstyling manpower, did their own Victory Tax Preparation and Victory Electrical Work and performed their own Victory Surgery.2 The resources freed up by these efforts had a tremendous effect on the war. Scrap Metal Drives When the United States found itself suddenly immersed in the worldwide military pickle, it was caught with its pants down. Literally: Depression Era America's fascination with metal pants left the nation's cache of metal dangerously low. It was a full-blown crisis. Miners couldn't mine additional ore fast enough, and there simply weren't enough shirtless metalworkers to go around. Smelling danger, the War Department launched a massive public relations campaign urging citizens to turn in their unneeded metal in large community scrap metal drives, which the military could then use to build tanks, guns, military issue metal pants and even hasten the development of secret weapons (see below). The American military invades Berlin at the war's climax (artist's rendering). Japanese Internment In the modern world, the internment of Japanese Americans during the war remains a controversial subject. Some argue that it was unnecessary and wrong, while more credible voices contend that the effort didn't go far enough because the government failed to round up members of other unsavory national groups, such as Italians or the Irish. War Bonds Most Americans have some experience with deadbeat uncles asking to borrow money. But what happens when Uncle Sam needs to borrow money? It's not like he can just call up John Q. Public and ask him to wire bail money like my Uncle Ricky. When Uncle Sam is short on scratch, he needs to get creative; during World War II, his bail money came in the form of War Bonds. Pushy government officials pestered Americans constantly until they relented, handing over their precious hard earned dollars for vague promises about something called "interest." The government then turned around and spent the money on military projects, chewing gum and comic books. 1 In the interest of full disclosure, it should be noted that several members of the Vince College Review's editorial board are currently awaiting trial on terrorism charges stemming from their efforts to persuade the Fox network to return "The War at Home" to the airwaves. VCR's legal department continues to dispute the charges, which it insists are "completely valid" and "likely to lead to swift convictions." 2 When it came to Victory Surgery, Americans were successful at rates comparable to the batting averages of their baseball heroes: nearly 30% of Victory Surgery patients survived. That’s a .300 average, sluggers!