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DO Know Much About History
For centuries, or at least since the 1950s, music and history have been practically inseparable; witness "Suicide is Painless," the theme song to the Korean War documentary "M*A*S*H," "Duke of Earl," about a British Duke of Earl who must have done something important like be Sir Lancelot. And let's not forget about "Henry the Eighth," Herman's Hermits plea for the government to imprison promiscuous divorcees. The Vince College Review will now examine the historical messages contained in songs since the dawn of music. Read more…
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While musical genius has transcended centuries, leather pants belong to our generation alone.
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The Land Before iTunes
Western music has deep roots, with historians estimating that Europeans and their descendants have been listening to music for well over 100 years. This vast history can seem daunting to the uninitiated, so in this brief monograph, Vince College Music Historian Lawrence Margeld offers a quick glimpse at the important terms, concepts and musicians everyone needs to know. Professor Margeld also asked us to stress that he is desperately lonely and every night thinks of killing himself, but can't bear to let his cat see him appear weak.
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- In space, nobody can hear you scream, unless you are screaming the lyrics to a Pantera song; then you can be heard all the way to Mars.
- Turn down that racket; it is too loud.
- In Soviet Russia, you don't listen to music - music listens to you!
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March 11, 2008
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When it music not just music? When it's musical history (or musitory, for short). Aristotle thought it was so powerful societies had to caution against its corrupting influence on young people. Nietzsche believed it was the one thing that made human life bearable. And poetess Emily Dickinson memorably described it as "that which often precedes humping." Whatever the case, music has beguiled and fascinated the human mind for literally dozens of years. Since the first cave-dwelling musicians found they could reproduce sound by hollowing out a gourd and blowing in it (circa 1847) to today's high-tech rap'n'roll stars, the evolution of music is as fascinating as the evolution of human society, and tends to rhyme far more often. This week, the Vince College Review straps on some head phones, gently places the needle on the record and pretends we simply "misplaced" our dinner frosting as we delve into the history of music.
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Nixon Strikes Back
In 1972, America's counterculture activists plotted to go up against Richard Nixon's formidable re-election campaign with everything they had: rock and roll, music festivals, and so much hair all the barbers in the Air Force couldn't cut it. They expected to shake Nixon's resolve in Vietnam. They expected to confront angry police officers and National Guard soldiers. They expected a battle the likes of which the country had never seen. What they never expected was what happened next: Operation Shine On You American Diamond.
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Music's Misfires
As you listen to the Fine Young Cannibals on your Walk-Man, you may think music is doing just fine, but it wasn't always smooth sailing. There were plenty of speed bumps along the way. Want to know more about music's misfires? Of course you do! Read on for insight into the wayward journey this phenomenon known as music has taken on its way to your Apple Computer Pods.
Read more…
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Recommended reading:
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"Incredibly tedious!"
-Pope Benedict XVI
"I really hated it!"
- Everyone else
Buy it today!
Or don't!
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Play it again…SATAN!
Rock n' Roll "artists" have long embedded hidden messages in their lyrics, usually in support of a dark beings like Dracula. These lyrics tend to encourage drug use, unpleasant forms of incest and worshipping junk foods. Now, Vince College reveals for the first time the hidden musical history contained in popular records when played backward:
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Welcome to the Jungle
by Guns n' Roses
Forward Lyrics:
Welcome to the jungle / If you want you're gonna bleed / And you're a very sexy girl / hard to please
Backward Lyrics:
Don't eat Caesar salad / With the raw egg / It could make you sick / Make you sick - unsanitary
Sugar, We're Goin' Down Swingin'
by Fall Out Boy
Forward Lyrics:
Were going down, down in an earlier round / And Sugar, were going down swinging / I'll be your number one with a bullet / A loaded God complex, cock it and pull it
Backward Lyrics:
Return "Smokey and the Bandit" / As fast as you can / Late fees are a burden / Don't look at my dick on the internet
Uptown Girl
by Billy Joel
Forward Lyrics:
Uptown girl / You know I can't afford to buy her pearls / But maybe someday when my ship comes in / She'll understand what kind of guy I've been / And then I'll win
Backward Lyrics:
The human race / Is but a hairsbreadth long / In the scope of forever / Will God speak before we vanish?
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