Inventions

Unsung Heroes of Invention Even the dumbest school children can name history's great inventors: Leonardo, inventor of the helicopter; Franklin, inventor of lightning; and Diddy, inventor of the remix. But history is replete with examples of creators whose toil was no less honest, yet whose names have not become the stuff of legend. Inside are just a few unjustly overlooked inventors, and the things they made. Read more… Cutting edge technology from Japan, the only country in the world that is from the future. The Forgotten Ones The wheel. The printing press. Modern plumbing and sewage. What do these things have in common? They're the prima donna inventions – the needy, attention- starved middle children who must constantly be reminded of their importance. Otherwise, they'll freak out, shave their heads and turn the toast at their sister's wedding into a slew of vulgar, racist insults. Yes, we get it: Life would be difficult without the wheel. Our cherished elder porn magazines couldn’t exist without the advent of the printing press. Of course, these aren't the only inventions that have made a difference in our lives. The following are just a few of the less heralded innovations that have had a quiet – yet substantial – influence on our lives. Read More...   The telephone has not yet been invented. Who invented lobsters? Hint: a really big lobster. The tide of the Civil War was turned forever by the invention of the bodyslam. Richard Nixon invented whimsy.

March 18, 2008 History is too often reduced to a bland listing of names and dates, famous battles, famous leaders, and the mermaids who married them. But just as much a part of history as battles and elections is human ingenuity. Ever since the first inventor, Randy Petersen, sketched the first draft for what became the wheel in his prehistoric cave, human beings have been tirelessly inventing not just things you can put in a bag, but bags themselves, as well as the bags for latte- sipping elitists to bring to grocery stores because they don’t like the bags the peasants use. Indeed, history can be truthfully said to be driven by inventions and innovations: English dominance in medieval Europe was assured by the longbow, the Protestant Reformation was sped along thanks to spray paint, and the decisive blow of World War II was struck courtesy of America's fearsome cybertroops. These are just a few of the best-known inventions, but this issue of the Vince College Review takes its customarily in-depth look not just at the famous, but also the obscure inventions which influence our lives and the course of history even today (Tuesday). Inventions of the Wild In 1898, a U.S. Patent Commissioner idiotically asserted that everything that was going to be invented, had already been invented and that there would be no more inventions. When Mount Saint Helen’s erupted in 1980, if he hadn’t been long dead, the lava splashing on his face would have been like a metaphor about getting egg on your face because nature pulled a fast one on him: it invented Mount Saint Helens, which then erupted. Nature: 1, Late Patent Commissioner: 0. Now that 110 years of invention have passed since his foolish statement, giving us many new inventions like cameras, windshield wipers and no-wrinkle cotton shirts, we can say with confidence what that patent commissioner could not: everything that was going to be invented, already has been – at least by man. But there is no Patent Commission for what is really man’s best friend: the natural world of nature. Let’s take a look at some of nature’s most intriguing – and sometimes unexplained – inventions. Read More... Recommended reading: "Incredibly tedious!" -Pope Benedict XVI "I really hated it!" - Everyone else Buy it today! Or don't!

A Brief History of the Calendar Among the greatest inventions ever discovered is one that you may not think of unless you're trying to mail a letter and the post office is closed: the calendar. This simple but brilliant device gives us a tremendous amount of useful information (What month is it? What phase is the moon currently in? Is it Nixon's birthday already?) and, unlike us, never takes a day off! But was the calendar first built by the government, as 65 percent of people surveyed in a recent poll believe? The answer may surprise you. Read more… An early prototype of the stapler The Most Significant Inventions in All of History (in order of importance) 1914: Chocolate Frosting Tired of plan old vanilla, Americans demanded this delicious treat, which also kept us out of war. 1865: Presidential Assassination Sic Semper Tyranus! 1977: Pre-Written Post-It Notes The three currently in production: “The TV is too loud,” “Have you skimmed the pool?” and “Do you think that robin is singing directly to me?” 1963: Dinosaur Footprints 1801: Coin-Roller Were this handy device not invented, change would be everywhere and our elderly loved ones would have spent their final days staring into space instead of packaging the coins we stole after their death and spent on candy bars. 5000BC: Tattoo of Spider Web Having Snared Hot Confederate Woman on Motorcycle 1958: The Monster Mash Boom boxes and enormous dishwasher sized radios alike would be silent during the early autumn months were this hit not invented by John Foster Dulles as a tool for defeating Castro. 1994: Hedges Cut in the Shape of Animals 1841: The Abominable Snowman 1716: Glove With Correct Number of Fingers 2000: Penguin That Cleans Up After Itself

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History in Motion: The Invention of the Dog

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The Vince College Review is published every Tuesday, unless the editors' Spinning class gets bumped like the lady at the gym said it might.