Revolution

Dr. Professor History When people hear the word "revolution," they generally think of one or two things: A controversial shoe advertisement in the 1980s in which Michael Jackson called for the deaths of Israeli gymnasts, and tires. But as Dr. Wendell E. Shaw examines in this installment of the popular "Ask History, Doctor" feature, there's much more to revolution than that. Read more…   We're safe. For now. (Read on - that will make more sense after you read the next item)   The Seeds of Revolution: What will thrust society into chaos? * Instead of "anarky," "anurkee," or "anarcy," spray-painted on bike trail tunnel walls, one finally begins to see "anarchy." Said historian Howard Zinn: "If you see that, kiss civil society goodbye." * The Nashua, NH man with a bumper sticker that says "Quit Bitchin' and Start a Revolution" on his '89 Buick Skylark finally gets it road-worthy again. * Continued illegal music downloading thwarts the will of iron-fisted melodic dictator Lars Ulrich; his bloody crackdowns unite the masses. "Metallica" patch removed from jean jacket. * "Rage Against the Machine" reunites to release revolutionary masterpiece: "Rage Even Harder Against the Machine." * Devin Schell, 31, of Bristol, OH says purchase of Che Guevara T-shirt puts U.S. government "on notice." * Man not allowed to smoke in Bickford's restaurant vestibule EVEN THOUGH IT IS SNOWING!!! * Henry Kissinger won't take your frantic midnight calls. * George Orwell's "1984" dramatically closed and placed on coffee table.

March 25, 2008 When that pimply-faced, meth-addled dropout at the McDonald's screws up my Egg McMuffin special order, I simply ask to speak to his manager for a little fast food justice. More often than not, I get not only my original Egg McMuffin, but a second one that costs me nothing more than a promise to leave the premises immediately. Unfortunately, history doesn't always have an assistant manager to complain to. Sometimes, the only path to justice is through bloody revolt. In what linguists consider a remarkable coincidence, the first five letters of the word "revolt" are exactly the same as the first five of the word "revolution." Ready for another coincidence? This week's issue of the Vince College Review is all about revolution! Dig in! Revolution: History's Temper Tantrum Did you know that the impish desire to see what's actually inside government buildings caused the French Revolution? Or that Fidel Castro's mother's exhortation that he should move out and find a job led to overthrow of Cuban dictator Fulgencio Batista? Or that Lenin fermented dissent simply as an avant garde art project that, in his later words, "went march farther than I thought it would." Or that a general malaise with "plain old" pancakes led the Belgians to invent their ground-breaking waffle maker that showed the world that food could be moist? We here at the Vince College Review can now present the stories behind the stories: what led to the worlds most significant revolutions? But we also recognize that you don't have a lot of time on your hands, so Professor Chris Merton Pierce, our editor who performs 200 nights a year on the road as "Professor Quickstory," will helpfully condense the major events behind revolutions. Read More...

You remember that dog from the Taco Bell, commercials - the little revolutionary Chihuahua? It turns out that he couldn't actually talk. Boycott Taco Bell! The person who wrote this fact cried himself to sleep last night. He was going to vacuum up the Dorito crumbs this morning, but the Dustbuster was left off the charger again, MOM. The British actually won the Revolutionary War, but were too polite to tell us. Recommended reading: "Incredibly tedious!" -Pope Benedict XVI "I really hated it!" - Everyone else Buy it today! Or don't!

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The Vince College Review is published every Tuesday, unless the editors' Spinning class gets bumped like the lady at the gym said it might.