Issue 12_Baseball

Vol. I, No. XII  May 6, 2008

© 2008 Vince College Review

"The Giants win the pennant! The Giants win the pennant!," Babe Ruth calling his home run, the Red Sox breaking the curse of the Bambino, Carlton Fiske being the first person to set foot on the moon -- these are just a few of the greatest moments in baseball history. The Vince College Review now presents the other moments from America's Pass Time that have defined the game and forever have a place in the proud annals of athletic accomplishment. Read More...

Why doesn't the pitcher have to hit in this baseball game in Baltimore when the pitcher in the game in Pittsburgh does have to hit? Why is the left field wall at Fenway Park in Boston 20 feet higher and 50 feet closer than the same wall at Petco Park in San Diego? Why do people have such a hard time understanding the Infield Fly rule? When there's a force play at third with less than two outs and a batter hits a routine fly ball which will not leave the infield, the umpire shall declare the batter out, leaving the baserunners to advance at their own risk. The rule was put in place to prevent fielders from turning cheap double plays. What's so hard about that? There's no disputing the point: Baseball is a quirky game. While it appears relatively simple at first, the game seemingly gets more and more complex the harder you look. What looked like a simple case of 'throw the ball, hit the ball, discriminate against minority ballplayers for half a century, catch the ball' is now a confusing mess of questions. What is the purpose of a bunt? (Nobody knows.) Why would you intentionally walk someone? (Good question.) Is it my fault that Daddy left? (Of course it is, Captain Bedwetter.) We can't answer all of your questions about baseball, but we are fortunate to be able to answer some of them, having recovered the sacred Major League Baseball Rule Book from its fortress in Manhattan. Dr. Wesley Youngblood, the veteran Vince College archaeologist and treasure hunter who famously unearthed a chest full of valuable Sub Club stamps after a long gunfight with the notorious bandits of Doctors' Associates in Milford, Connecticut, tells the exciting story of his quest for the Rule Book. Read More... * Shoeless Joe Jackson never actually removed his shoes. Even in the ocean. Jackson privately admitted that the nickname was cruel and that it hurt his feelings. * "Catfish" Hunter grew an enormous moustache to cover up the gross black catfish appendages on his upper lip. * Nolan Ryan was legally blind in both eyes. Talk about luck.

The Baseball Field of Dreams Baseball is the rare sport where we can easily picture greats from all eras playing competitively against each other. It's hard to imagine the old-fashioned "sixty minute men" of football being much use against the 320-pound linemen of today, and hockey is a completely different sport since the 1982 rule change that disallowed the use of leopards. But the evolution of baseball has been so hampered by irrational management decisions and hard-edged racism that it's easy to imagine such greats of the past as Babe "Ruth" playing head-to-head against the stars of today, like Rance Mulliniks. VCR editor Chris Merton-Pierce takes a look at what an "all-time dream team" might look like, using as his data a set of survey responses by distinguished historians and fifth-graders. Read More...

Top Player Superstitions throughout the Ages

Stan "The Man" Musial (Saint Louis Cardinals) Sleeping with another player's wife in front of him an hour before the game helps with on-base percentage. Derek Jeter (New York Yankees) If Rodriguez accepts his sleepover offer following a night game, it will not affect anything baseball-related, but will make that night worthy of a lengthy diary entry. George Herman "Babe" Ruth (Boston Braves, New York Yankees) When at the plate, if he can recite "The Wasteland" by T.S. Eliot before the count reaches 3-2, he will not have to run much for the rest of the game. David Justice (Atlanta Braves) If he could convince a single fellow Brave that Alan Iverson's album was worth buying, that game would have a rain delay. George Brett (Kansas City Royals) If he always closed his eyes at bat, he would not get on base. Hank Aaron (Atlanta Braves) Using a bat full of cork would make him the home run champion.

Roy Hobbes (New York Knights) If he can play well enough during the season, "Pop" Fischer won't lose his share of the team to the sinister "Judge." Jackie Robinson (Brooklyn Dodgers) If Southern fans and Brooklyn twits didn't mention his race during the first inning of a game in 1949, the sky was made of lollypops and President Truman could learn Spanish by osmosis. Micky Mantle (New York Yankees) Drinking a fifth of bourbon the night before a game made him tired the next day. Pete Rose (Cincinnati Reds) As manager, betting against his own team many times would result in their loss. Mike Greenwell (Boston Red Sox) If center fielder Ellis Burkes accepted a peck on the cheek between innings, he would commit at least three errors. Carl "Yaz" Yastremski (Boston Red Sox) If a fan made fun of his Polish heritage, he would later have to tell teammates that he "lost the ball in the sun."