Assassinations

Our interns have gone home or on trial for the summer. Our production budget was squandered on bail money, hookers and bail money for hookers. Because of these unfortunate circumstances, the Vince College Review will be shifting to a very special biweekly publication schedule. You're thinking, "Well, if they're publishing only half as frequently, the product ought to be twice as good!" We wish it was that simple.
June 3, 2008	© The Vince College Review
Mysteries in Histories! By Alan Brubaker This Month: An Escape Worthy of a Houdini Few events in modern U.S. history are as compelling – and controversial – as the assassination of President John F. Kennedy on Nov. 22, 1963. Facts are disputed, recollections fade and key evidence is still missing. There are so many unanswered questions about that dark day in Dallas: Had the Secret Service not done their job properly? Was the Mafia in on it? The CIA? As a leading scholar on the Kennedy assassination, for this month’s “Mysteries in Histories,” I felt it would be worthwhile to probe more deeply into the most talked-about and enduring mystery among the many: what became of Lee Harvey Oswald, the accused assassin? Continued... BANG: Assassinations Throughout History From JFK to the guy who started World War I to some other guys with foreign sounding names, the Vince College Review staff takes a look at some of the assassinations that changed history. Read More - Every day, more than 1,000 world leaders are assassinated - In Australia, bullets spin backwards. In space, they move backward. - My ex-wife is a frigid cunt and her new boyfriend is a homo.	Few moments in a public figure's life are more traumatic than when they are assassinated. Throughout history, assassination - or "the citizen's veto" - has been used against rulers, party leaders, and anthropomorphic spokesdogs. It has been a tool not just of gritty, down-at-the-heel nationalist cells with scarcely enough resources to purchase a stick of dynamite, but also of governments and world powers who realize that sometimes killing the president of Chile is easier than waiting to rig the next election. In this issue, the Vince College Review examines some of the most famous assassinations in world history and draws upon exciting new research in the field of assassinationology to present a complex and intriguing picture of this perennial phenomenon of government. The Vince College Book Review This week, Chris Merton-Pierce takes the first look at historian's David T. West greatly anticipated new book, "Blood on the Sawdust," in which West recreates history's most mysterious assassination. More Inside...	"I believe I have the highest score on this pinball machine. What are you prepare to do about it?" -Mohandas Gandhi, Indian non-violent civil rights leader, killed in 1948 "Now we must pay the terrible price for taking honey from the bees." -William McKinley, U.S. President, assassinated in 1901 (McKinley believed his assassin was a giant wasp) "What are the odds of two Indian leaders named Gandhi being assassinated?" -Indira Gandhi, Indian Prime Minister, assassinated in 1984 "This parade simply could not get any better." -Anwar Sadat, Egyptian President, assassinated in 1981 "Never mind about that. How did that wonderful play end?!" -Abraham Lincoln, U.S. President, assassinated in 1865 "Wouldn't it be something if that man over there with that gun kills me and it sparks a big world war and the tough terms arrived at following the armistice ending that war are so harsh that it just ends up setting the stage for a similar but much bigger war 20 years down the road when a dictatorial nationalist government rises in Germany? Wouldn't that be something? Anyway, I'm looking forward to having cake with lunch." -Franz Ferdinand, Austrian Archduke, assassinated in 1914 "Brutus, what the fuck? You're a fuck." -Julius Caesar, Roman Emperor, assassinated in 44 B.C. "I sure am glad I freed those serfs and now still end up getting killed. I guess that's the price I pay for being progressive. This is a real thrill. I'm really happy about this. No. No, Sergi; I'm being sarcastic." -Czar Alexander II, Emperor of Russia, assassinated in 1881 "I take comfort in the fact that I will be forever remembered by history as one of the truly consequential presidents." -James A. Garfield, U.S. president, assassinated 1881 "Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens, bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens--" -Yitzhak Rabin, former Israeli Prime Minister, assassinated in 1995 "The rules are quite clear, young man. Look what it says on the bottom of the card – 'Do Not Pass Go.' Where is the confusion?" -Benazir Bhutto, former Pakistani Prime Minister, assassinated in 2007 "Cornbread and mashed potatoes and apple dumplings and fried chicken and turkey gravy and bread stuffing and blueberry pie and blackberry pie and shoe fly pie and--" -Huey Long, U.S. Senator, assassinated in 1935 "Really? I was thinking Liam Neeson." -Michael Collins, Irish leader, assassinated in 1922 "Well, I don't mind saying you are disappointments as body guards." -Caligula, Roman Emperor, assassinated in 41 A.D.